Love is Sacrifice

Well, I suppose it's my turn. These past few months have been CRAZY. At the end of summer, right before my dad and sister went on their mission trip, I thought I knew everything that God had in store for me for the next stage of my life. I'd finish up homeschooling this 8th grade year, I'd go to Cedar Park Christian for high school, and I'd probably go to a great college. I'd have lots of friends and I'd probably have a pretty great life. No worries, no money problems; you could say, a perfect life. Now that I'm looking back, it would be a perfect life. Ha.

Then my dad and sister came back. When I started hearing their stories and how emotional they were, I knew that nothing would ever be the same for us. At this point I was pretty excited, because I didn't know exactly what that meant. I assumed it would mean us visiting the Rez often and giving money. Whatever. Not a big deal. It wouldn't really affect me and I was happy we could be doing something.

So much has happened since then. Over these past few months, even though I go through the occasional 'freak out' stages, the Lord has been shaping me and changing my heart. It's quite amazing to look back at how I felt when I first realized what moving would mean to how I feel now. At first, I was in shock and I knew I couldn't do it. I couldn't leave my friends. My house. My life.

Now, I wouldn't change what we're doing for anything. I've only been on the Rez a few times and I already feel longing to be there. The kids are precious, and they need us. I love them. I know it's going to be hard, and I still have moments of 'what-I-can't-move-what-are-we-doing' but when I stand back and look at the big picture, I know that we have to. I want to.

For King & Country's song, "The Proof of Your Love" has been really inspirational for me during this period of hearing the call/answering the call/worrying/being excited or I might just say, mixed emotions. :)

Let my life be the proof,
The proof of Your love
Let my love look like You, and what You're made of
How You lived, how You died
Love is sacrifice
So let my life be the proof,
The proof of Your love

My biggest worries and prayer requests right now are security, anxiety and the worry of loneliness (from leaving my friends).

The Lord has comforted me through the words of Isaiah 41:13 where he says "For I am the Lord your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear; I will help you."

Until my next post, thanks for reading!