If you could see my desk, in fact, my whole room, right now, you would be appalled. It's embarrassing. But I have to set that aside. I need to write. I can't focus on Watership Down with two faces in my head: the faces of two kids whose lives really are pain. They are really two of the most beautiful kids I have ever seen; their dark eyes are so innocent but their tiny hearts have been hurt and scarred.
This entire week, I've been thinking almost nonstop about these two little kids on the Rez. He is five and she is three. They giggle, they are full of energy, and they love macaroni and cheese. They smile like any other kid out there. They make me laugh. I want to talk to them constantly. They are sweet and playful. But their hearts hurt. They lack sleep, they are malnourished, they are unkempt, they cry.
Their faces keep reminding me of the life I am living compared to theirs. I can't get over the fact that I'm eating three meals a day when they are barely eating one. That I have a closet stuffed with clothes and a tiny three-year-old wears a mismatched broken sandal and a black dress shoe. I am so incredibly blessed with a family that loves me, encourages me, feeds me, laughs with me, and comforts me; the "family" of these precious kids fell apart even before they were born. I think about their house that is covered with inappropriate dirt, compared to mine that is bursting with everything, with every need of mine already met.
I struggle with this. I struggle with the life I am living and the life they are living. My happy, complete, safe life and their broken one. From human eyes, it looks like these two sweethearts are hopeless. No one is watching out for them, no one is making sure they eat, no one is making sure they are clean. Their future is hopeless.
If it weren't for Christ, they would be hopeless. But God's grace and God's Kingdom are for little children like these. It is for the helpless, the scarred, the broken. His Kingdom is for the five-year-olds and the three-year-olds on the Rez. They have hope. Their King will return.
I can only finish with this: Come Lord Jesus.
So sweet and moving Emily; speaks volumes about your call & what awaits you all on the Rez! Love, Papa Scott
ReplyDeleteHi, Emily,
ReplyDeleteI have been praying for your family today. I pray I can visit you when you move to the Rez. I would love to volunteer while I am there. God has bonded you to these children and Jesus loves you so much.
Love, Nancy Irion
Emily - I'm so honored to see a glimpse into your beautiful heart. I too have wondered many, many times in my life why do I have so much when others have so little. Your family is an inspiration to me.
ReplyDeleteLove from Cousin Lisa
Beautiful writing and sentiments, Emily. What a blessing that God has so clearly called you individually to this ministry, as well as your family. I am praying for you as you prepare and anticipate!
ReplyDelete