Why, O Lord?

How bold are your prayers? What are the specific things you pray for?

My prayers are often feeble. I pray for health, the next day or thank God for His provision. Honestly, I would probably be better off not praying sometimes. How often do you see David praying for his health in the Psalms?

The men of Hope Fellowship have been going through the Psalms the last several months. Rather than be comforted, I've been increasingly frustrated.

These prayers of David (mostly) are things that I increasingly think and pray:

• "Why, O LORD, do you stand far away? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?" 10:1
• "Arise, O LORD; O God, lift up your hand; forget not the afflicted." 10:12
• "How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day?" 13:1,2a
• "In my distress I called upon the LORD; to my God I cried for help." 18:6

Before coming to the Rez, I read all these passages and spiritualized them. If I could identify with them at all -- it is hard to identify with a person that suffers when you remove yourself from any opportunity to live life with those that suffer -- they turned into prayers about how lame my devotional life was. 

It is impossible for me to read these passages the same way now. There is much suffering in this world. Suburban America does all it can to insulate itself from suffering. But God calls us to seek out those that are suffering and show them the love of Christ: we are called to visit orphans and widows in their affliction (James 1:27). 

I see suffering now and my heart breaks. Almost daily I have the good fortune to interact with people on the Reservation that have suffered in ways I cannot imagine: children without parents, children living with whomever will take them, drug and alcohol addiction, physical, sexual and emotional abuse. I see how kids act that go through this, I see their lack of emotion, in others their anger, their mistrust. We spend a few hours with them each week and then we send them back home to trauma and chaos.

And I ask "Why, O LORD, do you stand far away? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?"

The current theme of our youth group is "walk by faith, not by sight" (II Corinthians 5:7). There are days I'm sick of that verse.

My hope is in the Lord. I know Christ will return to judge both the quick and the dead. I have no doubt that Christ is the All-in-All and one day, when He returns, all things will be made new.

But I want to see it. 

Now. 

I want to see suffering end. I want to see families made whole. I want to see people turn to Christ and grab hold of the life saving Gospel. 

So, I'm changing the way I pray. Hebrews tells us "with confidence draw near to the throne of grace." With confidence. Other versions say "come boldly."

The Creator of the Universe wants us to come to Him boldly, bringing our cares and concerns to him. Can I pray as confidently and boldly as David?

• "Consider and answer me, O LORD my God." Psalm 13:3
• "Hear a just cause, O LORD, attend to my cry! Give ear to my prayer from lips free of deceit! From your presence let my vindication come! Let your eyes behold the right!" Psalm 17:1-2
• "I call upon you, for you will answer me, O God; incline your ear to me: hear my words." Psalm 17:6

Or what about Daniel? Can you imagine being this bold in prayer?

"O Lord, according to all your righteous acts, let your anger and your wrath turn away from your city Jerusalem, your holy hill, because for our sins, and for the iniquities of our fathers, Jerusalem and your people have because a byword among all who are around us. Now therefore, O our God, listen to the prayer of your servant and to his please for mercy, and for your own sake, O Lord, make your face to shine upon your sanctuary, which is desolate. O my God, incline your ear and hear. Open your eyes and see our desolations, and the city that is called by your name. For we do not present our pleas before you because of our righteousness, but because of your great mercy. O Lord, hear; O Lord, forgive. O Lord, pay attention and act. Delay not, for your own sake, O my God, because your city and your people are called by your name." Daniel 9:16-19

It is my hearts wish that my prayer might elicit the same response Daniel's did:

"While I was speaking and praying, confessing my sin and the sin of my people Israel, and presenting my plea before the LORD my God for the holy hill of my God, while I was speaking in prayer, the man Gabriel . . . made me understand, . . . saying, . . . "At the beginning of your please for mercy a word went out." Daniel 9:20-23 

I long for the day when the Father answers and says:

• "'Because the poor are plundered, because the needy groan, I will now arise,' says the LORD; 'I will place him in the safety for which he longs.'" Psalms 12:5
• "In my distress I called upon the LORD; to my God I cried for help. From his temple he heard my voice, and my cry to him reached his ears. Then the earth reeled and rocked; the foundations also of the mountains trembled and quaked, because he was angry." Psalm 18:6-7

Prayer: A Gift from God

We are enjoying our time here at missions training. We have been discussing many issues around language training and Friday afternoon began addressing cross-cultural issues which we will continue to interact with over the next two weeks.

After only two weeks we are developing some good relationships. Getting to know people that are going through the same things we are has been very encouraging.

It is amazing that when you have the opportunity to get away from the craziness of life for a bit with time to reflect on issues how healthy it can be.

I have recently been convicted regarding my own prayer life. As we embark on life on the Reservation we know there will be difficulties. We know we will miss our friends and family. We know that we will have failures and discouragements and things might often be confusing. We know the Lord will stretch us in many ways. But for us to be engaged in this work and not be in daily, continual prayer with the Creator of the Universe is folly. I have a long way to go.

We rest in the sovereignty of our great God. He not only is our Creator, but He is active in the lives of those that follow Him in a way that we can rely on and trust for all our needs. What a blessing to know the Holy Spirit not only enables us to pray but gives us the words! And we know that through the mediating work of Christ, our prayers are heard and answered by the Father.

It is often so easy to rely on ourselves. In the business world I would focus on working hard, putting in the time and effort, following the right methodology and usually would get good results. "See, look what I did!" In God's grace he allows success, even though it might often lead us farther away from Him.

Praise God that He has awakened me to my weakness in this area. He has called us to follow Him in a way that I can't rely on myself. If we try to do it in our own power, we will fail. I'm sure I will try. Many times. But with His power and grace, He will work through me and accomplish His purposes even in my weakness.

I have been reading a bunch the last couple weeks and just finished a small little biography of David Brainerd, by Brian H Cosby, titled "A Love for the Lost." Mr. Brainerd was a missionary to Native Americans in the 1740s. He lived a godly life that was cut short by sickness. He died in 1747 at the age of 29 after struggling several years with, I believe, tuberculosis. But he was a man of prayer and continual seeking after Christ. Below is a short excerpt from the book that was a huge encouragement to me that I thought might encourage you to seek after Christ as Mr Brainerd.

"However, through these challenges and hardships [hypocritical witness from other white Christians in the area, fear from Native Americans, English translation issues, Native American's worshiping spirits with powerful witch doctors] God was pleased to shape David and to teach him to trust in his goodwill more. He had to trust that God's grace was sufficient for him. He had to trust that he would never be forsaken because Jesus was forsaken on his behalf. It always came back to the gospel. David showed patience toward the Indians because God had shown patience toward him in his sin. He forgave the Indians when they wronged him because God had forgiven him. David loved the Indians because God had first loved him. Jesus was the centerpiece of David's entire life to the point that, "to live is Christ and to die is gain" (Philippians 1:21) (pgs. 124, 125)

bittersweet weeks

These past few weeks have felt really bittersweet, and I write that honestly. This "both feet in both worlds" is hitting me hard. Lot 42 in the Porter's Landing Development is sold. I've been thinking and journaling and reading quite a bit lately, and Radical: Taking Back Your Faith From the American Dream by David Platt is hitting me over the head hard. Kind teachers and sweet friends have told me each day this week that they want me to stay in Bothell. It really does mean a lot - I'm thankful for the relationships that I've made, but they are exactly what makes this whole transition so difficult! Last night, with little Rida's sparkly summer butterfly from Kids Club hanging in my room, I wrote what ended up to be quite a long "statement" detailing why I want to be a part of Cedar Park's Independent Study Program. It was hard, I'll admit.

When you ask me if I'm excited, I'll tell you that I'm so excited, that I absolutely cannot wait to get to the Rez. The wobbly, singing preschoolers during church, the car mat at Totus Park, the see-saw and swings. The faces at Christmas, the tiny kiddos in the donated puffy jackets that are a size too big. I can't help but smile as I write this (I get to experience Christmas with them again this year!) The warm church in the middle of a cold, dry desert. Most of my heart was left in White Swan a year and a half ago. I'm beyond excited to be there all the time.

But on the other hand, this semester is moving much faster than I thought it would, and this transition much harder than I thought it would be. I'm so thankful for all of the prayers and encouragement over the past year and a half - it has been such a blessing. Don't stop praying for us now - please don't stop.

Abounding Joy

Okay, so how many more months until I can move? Every time I visit the Rez I get more and more excited.

This past Tuesday, my 8th grade class took a trip to the reservation with my teacher, my mom, and me to get a glimpse of life on the Rez. I was so happy they could get an experience of my future life and so ecstatic I could get back to the reservation. We had an amazing time.

On Wednesday, we spent the first half of the day working at the new church: painting sheds, scraping rust, and painting the church. I loved getting to know the spring break teams from projects and hearing how they, too, were being blessed by their experience at Sacred Road. It was also pretty cool to be known as "the family" who was moving to the Rez.

I was most looking forward to my time at kids club though. And I wasn't disappointed. The precious faces and personalities of these children never fail to bless me. As we drove into Totus park, seeing those children running around made me smile so big. Soon after we arrived the children who did not live in the Totus housing development drove in on the Sacred Road buses. As the first girl, Jill, (top left) climbed on my back, I felt this sensation of overwhelming joy and peace and love. I met more children yesterday than I have ever met and each one of them had their own adorable smile and pair of sweet, chocolate eyes. The happiness in each of these suffering children is astounding. You think you had a bad day? Nothing compares to these kids who go through unbelieveable things and still find joy.

I am so happy and feel so blessed that I could visit the reservation again. It gets me so excited for my new life and the blessings that will overcome the hardships.

Please continue to pray for a swift building process as the church building is finished. Pray that these kids will continue to come to kids club during their spring break weeks, and that they will get excited to come to kids club in the summer. Pray that my family will still find peace in our new adventure. Praise God that I could have this trip and that we're so excited.

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Hope Fellowship Church in process

Painting the sheds

Craft time at kids club

Jay and Me

Bubbles with Jill and Jay

 

 

I want to be there.

I'm sure you've gotten this idea by now, but in case you haven't:  I cannot wait to be a part of the things happening on the Rez! I miss that busy week last summer and I can't wait to live it again.

Yakama? is written on many a Sunday's square in the calendar. I wish wholeheartedly that I could cross out the ? and the plans could be confirmed. I can guarantee that every Saturday there are thoughts of, "Let me check the weather forecast." Every Saturday I hope that there won't be snow and that someone will spontaneously suggest visiting Yakama the next day for church.

Kids Clubs are happening over two weeks during the month of March. The SRM team will meet at the housing projects again for the same VBS-type-activities that go on during the summer. I would almost give anything to be there! I am already praying, and I hope you will join me in praying, that these two weeks will be some of the best ever. That kids will come and enjoy themselves and receive the love of Christ. And also for the staff and interns, that they will be filled with an abundance of love and patience and peace over the month of March in all of the prep for these two weeks.

I am in my homey-suburbs for a reason and the Lord has tasks for me here, but I can't help but hope that one of these days the weather forecast will be clear of snow and we will head back over to the Rez.

Specific Prayer Requests

As I sit here with a stuffed nose, oversized sweatshirt, and a picture of that same little five-year-old boy that stole a piece of my heart, I am struck by the over-all encouraging response we have gotten about this crazy adventure. I cannot wait to get out to the Rez; I cannot wait to show the love of Christ to this little boy and his sister. Thank you for helping make this possible.

The comments regarding this change in our lives have been amazing. The kind, genuine responses really do mean a lot to us. Just the other evening, we were sitting around the dinner table (eating a meat/carrot/potato stew that allowed me to flash forward to our future country life). We were discussing the many people who have been such a blessing to us these past few months and who are continuing to show great generosity. Thank you. Please continue to come before the Lord in prayer, especially regarding the following.

Pray for peace for my family during this seemingly slow transition to Rez life. Pray for Rachel and my school situations for junior and freshman year. Pray for the Lord to strengthen us and give us the ability to do His work without tiring. But above all, pray for His will to be done in everything.

Pray for all of us as we continue to spread the word about God's call for our lives. Pray that we will be equipped with the right words to say and have gracious responses to those we talk to.

Thank the Lord for the daily encouragement we are receiving from both financial and prayer partners.

Pray for church each Sunday evening on the Rez. Pray that the attendance will be high and that the children will be focused and alert and joyful. Pray that their hearts will be softened and receptive to Christ's love. Pray that they will feel super duper loved and appreciated and want to come back next week. Pray that all of them will be safe and provided for at home.

Pray the two sisters I love will be bold enough to go to church together and enjoy themselves. They are quiet and cautious, but pray that they will remember the Sacred Road staff from Kids Club this summer and feel welcome.

Pray for the five and three-year-old. Pray for them. Their little hearts are hurting and only Christ can give them comfort. Thank the Lord that they have been able to spend some time with other staff families this week and enjoy a taste of what a loving, Christ-centered family looks like.

The Power of Prayer

I want to thank everyone who has been praying for us along this journey. Your prayers are vital.  And the results of your prayers have already been seen.

Our family has been blessed with great peace since the word has finally gotten out about our journey. I have been realizing how blessed I am with an amazing group of friends who have been encouraging me and praying for me every day. And I continue to get more and more excited about this wonderful opportunity.

Every day, any time I see a picture of a precious Native American child, I get this thrill of excitement and love for them. I am so passionate for these children and I can't wait to spend every day with them.

Don't get me wrong, I know this is going to be a hard and crazy transition. But I am incredibly thankful for the peace that the Lord has given me and for the worry that he has taken away. <3

One verse that has really spoken to me this week is Romans 12:12, "Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." I feel like I'm going to be able to take this verse with me when I move and I know it's going to be a great comfort.